


Of Breakfast And Omelettes

by phidari



Category: Homestuck
Genre: How Do I Tag, M/M, One Shot, Pesterlog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-17
Updated: 2013-08-17
Packaged: 2017-12-23 19:54:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/930436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phidari/pseuds/phidari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk eats a delicious egg.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Breakfast And Omelettes

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Of Rivals And Roommates](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/26130) by Team Caliborn♠Dirk. 



> This was based on a scene from HSWC Team Caliborn♠Dirk's Main Round 2 fic, _Of Rivals and Roommates_. You should probably read that one first. Or just instead of this fic.
> 
> I'm sorry, dirkuu fans.

uu: WHERE IS IT.  
TT: Where's what, dude?  
uu: THE EGG. THE COLORFuL EGG THAT WAS ON THE KITCHEN TABLE. JuST A FEW HOuRS AGO.  
TT: Oh, that thing?  
TT: It was delicious. I left half in the fridge if you want some.  
uu: WHAT.  
TT: Where'd you get it? I scrambled the thing, but I kind of want to see how well it'd cook over easy.  
TT: Might actually be too big for a pan, but I can probably rig something up with a cookie sheet and the barbecue grill.  
uu: STRIDER HuMAN, DO YOu HAVE THE SLIGHTEST CLuE WHAT YOu'VE DONE???????????  
TT: Uh.  
TT: No?  
uu: THAT. EGG. WAS MINE.  
TT: Ugh. Look, I know you bought it, but we've been over this. You don't want me to touch your shit, you keep it in your cupboard. I don't want you to touch my shit, I keep it in my cupboard.  
TT: The other cupboards, the fridge, the freezer, and the tabletop are all no man's land.  
uu: NO, YOu INSuFFERABLE NINCOMPOOP! THAT EGG WAS *MINE*. IT CAME. FROM ME.  
TT: Um.  
uu: OR TO BE MORE SPECIFIC. IT WAS *OuRS*. YOuRS AS WELL AS MINE. AND I DON'T MEAN THAT. IN A WAY THAT WOuLD INDICATE. THAT IT WAS MEANT FOR THE TWO OF uS. TO JOINTLY CONSuME.  
TT: You lost me.  
uu: YOu ATE OuR BABY.  
uu: FuCK YOu. YOu CANNIBALISTIC SHITHEAD.   
uu: YOu NO LONGER HAVE ANY RIGHT. TO LECTuRE ME ON BEING EVIL. WHEN YOu HAVE COMMITTED uNDENIABLY. THE MOST EVIL. VILE. ACT OF ALL.  
uu: ONE THAT EVEN I CANNOT CONDONE.  
uu: OKAY. MAYBE I COuLD CONDONE IT. IF IT WAS ***HERS***.  
uu: BuT IT WASN'T. SO FuCK YOu.   
uu: ...  
timaeusTestified [TT] is now an idle chum!  
uu: DIRK.  
uu: DIRK HuMAN. WHERE ARE YOu.  
uu: ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW. WHAT DO YOu HAVE TO SAY FOR YOuRSELF?  
uu: DIRK?  
uu: IF YOu DON'T ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW. I AM GOING TO RANSACK YOuR ROOM. AND BREAK THINGS. AND PERHAPS EVEN. LOCATE THOSE PLANS YOu'VE BEEN WORKING ON. FOR THAT ARMORED SuIT. AND COPY THEM FOR MY OWN uSE???  
TT: Oh my god, shut up.  
TT: I was trying to find an emetic.  
TT: Are you serious here or are you just fucking with me?  
uu: I AM SERIOuS, DIRK. DEADLY. DEADLY. SERIOuS.  
TT: I'm about to make friends with the toilet. See you in a bit.  
timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering undyingUmbrage [uu]  
uu: GET BACK HERE DIRK.  
uu: DIRK.  
uu: DIRK.


End file.
